Fading Lily
by The Road Less Traveled
Summary: AU HIATUS Lily is abused at home and has almost no friends at school that is until James comes into her life and changes it forever...
1. A Fading Lily

A/N: Hi!!! I am a new author to Harry Potter fan fics but I have be told ::Cough.koneko.cough:: I am a good author. Any who this is rated PG13 because I was told to rate it that, this is an L/J fic, obviously. Those who couldn't tell have problems (L/Js are soooooo cute) so I hope you like it and please, please, please, please review or I won't write anymore… and then Koneko would kill me and then I couldn't write, and that would be a bad thing. And I should mention this is a bit of a AU fic.

Oh and the disclaimer thing: unless I am suffering from hallucinations and memory loss I am not J.K Rowling and therefore I do not own any Harry Potter characters. 

So here it goes… Presenting to you…

**Fading Lily**

Lily huddled into the shadows in the corner of her room, the moonlight shining on she tears, which were silently streaming down her face. She cradled her arm and stared trying to wipe the blood of her face and the floor. Her father had been drunk again, that was the 5th time this week. She wasn't sure she could handle much more of the beatings, which were getting increasingly worse since she started Hogwarts. Before that it had only been every once in a while, when her mom left for some trip for her job, starting when Lily was 6. It hadn't been to bad, just a few bruises every now and then a black eye, but it had gotten worse, much worse. Her father didn't like abnormality, which is why Lily suffered from being a witch, he liked everything perfect, and when it wasn't he got mad, and when he was drunk like tonight it only made it worse.

'It's my fault, I shouldn't have upset him,' Lily thought to herself. 'I was made a school prefect, so what? Petunia's right that only makes me more of a freak. Father had every right to be mad at me.'

She climbed gingerly on to her bed, careful not to touch her broken rib or arm. Then, curled up into a ball. Looking very much like a five year old instead of a 15 year old. She closed her eyes and tried to make the pain go away, searching her mind for any happy thoughts. Quickly her mind turned to Remus Lupin, who had been her friend since the train-ride to Hogwarts. He was quite then, like she was, and seemed to have something to hide, like she did. It turned out that he was a werewolf. You find these things easily when you study as much as she did, and you would notice if your only friend went missing every full moon. Needless to say Remus and Lily were instant friends. 

But then he had met James Potter and Sirius Black who he became even closer with. They never really noticed Lily; except for the pranks they pulled on her, though there were only a few since Remus tried to stop them from doing anything to her. But slowly her and her only friend had grown apart. And now were only friends at a distance.

'You brought it on yourself, you know.' She scolded herself, 'if you weren't so shy and ugly and unfriendly maybe he and his friends would like you more, James has at least tried to talk to you. James,' she sighed 'He was the only other person that tried to be her friend. And she didn't know why, but she felt strange around him, and strange isn't good. 'Strange gets you broken arms and broken hearts,' she thought before she could stop herself. 'Not to mention you are going to have a hard time hiding this on the train and thinking of an excuse to tell Madame Pomfrey,' coming back to her most pressing problem. Besides you still have your mother, even though she is at an archeological dig in Cairo, she does send you lovely letters and she does love you.' And with that thought, ignoring the rumbling in her stomach telling her she hasn't eaten much since she got home from Hogwarts she fell asleep.

***************************************

"Hey Remus… Remus… REMUS!" James yelled trying to get his friends attention. 

"Oh… oh… what… James, what the hell was that for" Remus replied coming out of his daze he was staying a James's mansion with Sirius for the last week of summer. 

"You were totally spased out Moony." James said simply "What were you thinking about."

"Lily, I don't know, she seems to be hiding something, and she always seems sad you can see it in her eyes. I have been trying to figure it out since we meet the first year." Remus replied.

"Lily… Lily… Lily who?" Sirius asked dumbly. "I've heard of her, haven't I?"

"Yes you have, padfoot, you idiot. The only reason you can't remember her is because she is not one of your x- girlfriends." Remus explained, obviously annoyed. Sirius said nothing, only looking slightly rejected.

"Lily… Evans right." James said " The top person in charms, red hair , green eyes, quiet, always with a book." Remus looked at James shocked,

"Yeah" he replied "I didn't think you knew even that much."

"Well…" James added blushing slightly "I just noticed her, she seems to stand out, she is different then most people."

"Yes she is." Remus said looking at his friend, he really hoped James didn't like her like that, Remus saw what James does to his x-girlfriends and he really thought that Lily couldn't take a heartbreak. 

"I should owl her see how she is doing, I have this strange feeling something's wrong. Maybe its nothing, but I'm going to owl her. " Remus said gathering parchment and quills, "She could come sit with us on the way to Hogwarts, maybe she will open up a bit. After last year I'm starting to worry about her."

A/N Hi hoped you liked it… any suggestions please put them in your review.OI know it was short but it is kinda just an intro. Please, please, please, please review. J TTFN… he he he he he he


	2. Of Love and Letters

A/N: Look I updated… Now koneko can't kill me. If you ever need me to update and I don't listen relay your message to koneko in your review and she will get it to me. THANK YOU White Ivy for the wonderful suggestions I will use them, thank you thank you. And thank you Koneko and dementedfaith and Andrea-the-angel and Gabby Evans and Siridragon and Snufalufagus and In your face for you reviews. You made me soooooooo happy (just ask koneko).

Disclaimer: My fairy godmother hasn't been by lately and therefore I am not J.K. Rowling and I do not own any Harry Potter characters

Fading Lily

Lily woke up to a soft taping on her window. She started to roll over but quickly stopped after a shooting pain went up her arm, reminding her of the previous days less than pleasant events. She gingerly stood up and went to the window opening it for the owl that was waiting patiently. Lily instantly recognized the owl as Remus's owl Horus. She excitedly made her way, with the owl, back to her bed.

'This day might actually be ok.' Lily thought hopefully while cautiously removing the letter from Horus' leg. She smiled as she opened the letter, seeing Remus' large neat handwriting.

'Its almost as nice as seeing him again," she sighed softly. "He is my best friend, my only friend, practically my brother… the nice one who has had no contact with my family that dose not love me.' She added sadly knowing the truth but desperately wanting it not to be true. 'At least I have mother.'

Lily slowly opened the letter and read it.

Dear Lily,

Hello Lily! How was your summer, I hope you had fun. How have you been holding up, you feeling okay? I am staying at James's mansion for the last week of summer. We already got our school supplies; sorry you couldn't come with us. We all, James, Sirius, Peter and I, will see you on the Hogwarts express in a few days. I hope you will join us in our Marauder Compartment on the train, it is the furthest back on the train and the password is "Snuffles." I hope you are doing well.

Your Friend,

Remus Lupin

'That explains why nobody could get into that compartment.' Lily thought, chuckling softly. Then her thoughts where rudely interrupted by the somewhat soft put persistent bbbbbbeeeeeeeeeeeeppppppppp bbbbbbbbbbeeeeeeeeeeppppppppppp of her alarm clock.

'Time to make breakfast.' 

She silently turned off the alarm and crept down the stairs, being extra cautious with her battered limbs and not wanting to wake her jeering sister or abusive father. She reached the kitchen and made scrambled eggs, sausage, toast, fried potatoes, and fresh squeezed orange juice. Then set the table for two, her father usually didn't eat with her and she liked to have as little confrontations with him as possible, and placed a single white lily in a vase in the middle and placed two small aspirins nest to her fathers drink. She had just finished when she heard the mail being dropped through the door. She lazily walked over to pick it up and saw a letter from Cairo, from her mother!!!! She opened it eagerly and read.

Dearest family,

I have finished my job in Cairo and I am coming back to my wonderful family. I shall be back by the end of the week, just in time to see our dearest Lily leave to Hogwarts. I miss you all dearly and eagerly wait to see your lovely faces once again. Petunia, be ready to shop for school and other necessities when we get home. And Darren, darling, I have a romantic vacation planed for us once Petunia has left to school. 

Bunches of love

Rose Evans

Suddenly she Lily heard a loud thumping down the stairs. 'Daddy's up' followed by a soft pitter-patter of feet 'and so is Petunia'

"Lily get some aspirin NOW! And my breakfast better be ready" her dad yelled

"Yes daddy, breakfast is ready and the medicine is by your glass" Lily replied softly. "Oh and we got a letter from mother." She added as her father entered the kitchen. "Its with the rest of the mail by your meal."

Her father sat down at the table and took a look at the letters before turning back to face Lily, his face going redder by the minute. "You opened the letter. Whet the hell do you think you were doing, haven't I told you to leave my business alone! You are not to go through my letters!" her father screamed.

"But… but it was from mum." Lily stuttered, trembling as she heard Petunia laughing from the doorway, muttering freak under her breath.

"I don't care who it is from you freak, you will never disobey me." He came up and started punching her in her stomach and face. Lily winced as she heard another crack 

'Oh that can't be good' she thought as she curled up into ball, silent tears streaming down her blood covered face, as her father kicked her a few more times before calmly walking off, and cordially gesturing Petunia to come join him for breakfast. Lily slowly picked her self up and silently dragged herself to her room and collapsed on her bed. Lily closed her eyes for a minute before opening them to see Remus' letter by her head. Her eyes once again skimmed over the comforting words. 'Am I okay? Yeah I'm just peachy.' She let out another soft sob 'Oh Remus, Mom, anybody, James, help me." She thought before blacking out.

A/N: I updated, I updated nanananana. That wasn't the funnest thing to write and it was kinda a transition chapter but that's ok. The next chapter will be the train to Hogwarts. AKA meeting her mother and how will the Marauder's act when they see Lily… well in, lets just call it her present state. Hmmmmmm please review and I am totally open to comments and suggestions. Please review. TTFN… U KNOW U LOVE ME 


	3. Worried Meetings

A/N: SRY don't kill me please. I know it has been a while since I updated but my dance teachers were killing us with nutcracker rehearsals and we have a company performance next week and a competition last week, and tons of homework so it's not totally my fault. This chapter is a little longer, I was going to make it longer than this but I really wanted to post the chapter. Oh and yes I know Lily is supposed to have a perfect life, I did read the first book, but this is a different story and it is my own little fan fic so… yeah. And I have two editors, so a round of applause for Koneko and Dorky Princess. ::Clap Clap:: 

And to all my reviewers I love you all:

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Disclaimer: I really don't have time for a big lawsuit, it would take away from writing time, so I confess ::sniff sniff:: ::sob sob:: I am not J.K. Rowling and therefore I do not own the Harry Potter characters.

Lily groaned as she shut off her alarm clock and slowly stood up, not hurting her battered body too much this time.

'I can handle the pain better every day. Hurray for me!' Lily thought bitterly. The pain and suppressed anger that had built up after all these years was finally starting to get to her. Lily walked over to the window watching the sunrise as she slowly stretched her sore muscles and shot a quick glanced at her calendar. Her heart practically leaped for joy as she realized that today her mother would be coming to take her to the Hogwarts express. 'Thank god, I am leaving. Leaving my own personal hell. Thank you father dearest for everything. Not.' She thought shaking her head. 'But I am leaving and I will get to see mother' and with that she started downstairs feeling slightly more lighthearted, or at least as lighthearted as one could get in her situation. She started down the hallway when she tripped, landing on her arm, smashing it into her broken rib.

'Shit! You just had to bring me down didn't you' she made her way to the kitchen, made breakfast, actually eating some herself, set out the aspirin for her father and headed back upstairs before her father could come down.

Back up in her room Lily decided she should get dressed and get all packed for school. 'I'll have to pick out something that won't hurt too much, but I can't let the bruises show.' So she picked out a dark emerald green tank top and put that on, giving her a little breathing room, not to mention she had been feeling increasingly hotter and dizzy all week and she hoped it would not be too hot on the train. But just in case she would wear it. Over that she put on a very loose, long-sleeve black button down shirt that she wore open. Then she slipped on a long white cotton skirt that went past her feet. Checking in the mirror for any showing bruises other than the ones on her face, which where pretty much hopeless. Sweltering hot even with nothing too thick on she turned on the fan high power and set to packing, using only her good arm and good leg, making this a considerably hard task.

She took one of her robes and threw it over her shoulders to see if she had to alter it. Desperately trying to ignore the pain in her back, which was scaring, scabbing, and for some unknown reason still bleeding. The last few nights her father had discovered his belt served as a nice substitute for a whip. It proved to be a very painful abuse tool, and had been useful in the threat from her father not to tell her mother about the abuse. He had even made Petunia give Lily some of her concealer to wear, which she did. 

Seeing the robes were fine she piled that one and the rest of them into her trunk along with some school supplies, and muggle clothes. Then after wiping off the sweat that had been gathering on her forehead and taking off the black shirt, she turned to the Egyptian artifacts. The things she probably valued most, they were all splendid gifts from her mother. There were many Egyptian necklaces and miniatures copies of the sculptures of Egyptian gods and a black-jeweled cat statue, hieroglyphic writings, stories of the myths of almost every god.

'Proof that someone loves me' Lily thought as she lovingly stroked the cat sculpture. ' I'll never forget Petunia's face each time I got something and she was sent a little letter and some papyrus and a key chain'

Lily closed her trunk and slowly picked up Remus's letter, reread it, folded it nicely and placed it into the hidden compartment in the mouth of the cat, placed it in the trunk and pulled up a chair to the window and took out "Hogwarts, A History" to read as she awaited her mothers return.

An hour later she saw her mother's red convertible drive up. Lily practically fell off her chair, but managed to quickly walk down stairs, throwing her black cover up on as she did. 

She got down stairs just as her mother came through the door, clad in a light colored sun hat, which contrasted with her vibrant red curly hair and khaki pants and a white shirt. 

"Lily, my Egyptian jewel, how are you," she said lovingly engulfing her in a huge motherly hug. Lily tried as hard as she could not to flinch from the pain shooting through her back. 

"I'm wonderful mother" Lily replied putting a very convincing smile on her face. 

"Don't let me forget, Lily dear, I have a special something for you" her mother said as Petunia and Darren came in from the kitchen.

"Petty, sweetie how are you" their mother said, with much less enthusiasm than when she greeted Lily.

"Splendid, mother, simply splendid" Petunia replied shooting Lily a glare out of the corner of her eye. Then Rose, Lily's mother, turned to her husband who, due to his hangover, was having much trouble with the loud noise and bright light. Rose went up and kissed her husband in a greeting and then turned back to Lily. 

"Lily, are you ready to go?"

"Of course mother…um could you help me grab my trunk."

"Sure Lily. Darren, will you take my things up to our room." Lily's mother said starting up the stairs with her daughter and calling over her shoulder to her husband said "you and petty be back down in 5 minutes so we can say goodbye."

Lily walked with her mother and up the stairs and when they reached her room Rose took Lily's hand and spun her around.

"Lets get a better look at you." She said while spinning her daughter. " Lily darling you are so thin and pale. Have you been eating right? Then again your father is not the best chef, is he?"

"I'm fine mother, I eat, really, and I help sometimes, you know father really doesn't like to cook." Lily replied.

Her mother looked skeptical as she made for Lily's trunk asking her about what she had done over the summer, and Lily was lying easily, having many excuses already prepared. 

"Oh I almost forgot, hold on a moment Lily, I have a present for you." Lily's mother disappeared down the hall for a moment and came back carrying a bundle in her arms. She placed the bundle in Lily's arms (Lily adjusted it slightly for her hidden broken arm) and slowly opened the loose cloth to reveal a small, sleeping, midnight black kitten. Just as she touched its head the kitten stirred opening it eyes, which were the exact same deep emerald color as Lily's. Around its neck was a replica of an old Egyptian color, made of gold and emeralds, sky blue sapphires and blood red rubies. It looked up at lily and gave a soft "meow" before purring softly as Lily stroked its head. 

"It is beautiful Mum!!! Thank you" Lily exclaimed giving her mother a semi hug, her arms being somewhat full."

"You're welcome, Lily, Anything for my favorite little witch."

"What is its name?" 

"Her name is Isis."

"Mum she is beautiful," cooed Lily, shockingly close to tears.

"I'm glad you like her. I saw her and her eyes and she reminded me instantly of you." Rose gazed at her daughter and her new kitten lovingly. "Now lets get this trunk down stairs." Lily, shifting Isis carefully over to her injured arm, ignoring the pain, threw on her robe, using her good hand even though she was already burning hot, and fitting it protectively over her kitten. Then with her good arm grabbed her trunk and helped her mother carry it down stairs and into the car.

Once they got back into the house they found Petunia and Darren in the entryway. They all stood there in a moment of awkward silence before Rose said pointedly "Well say goodbye, we don't want to make Lily late for her train."

Petunia stepped forward and said "goodbye" loud enough for their mum to hear and then muttered "freak" in Lily's ear. Looking down she realized Lily was holding a kitten. 

"Mum," she whined. "Why didn't I get a present? Lily got a present"

"Oh Petunia, this is a special gift I got just for Lily, besides she had been made a prefect at her school, so she deserves something special." Petunia scowled at Lily and returned to her father's side. There was another awkward silence and Rose looked sternly at her husband who went up to Lily a tight hug, making sure to press on every injured limb. Saying for his wife through gritted teeth "I love you sweetie and I'll miss you." Lily tensed immediately, tears coming to her eyes as she tried not to cry out in pain. The kitten sensing this man was hurting Lily hissed menacingly and stuck out her front claws, unfortunately Lily's father moved away before Isis could scratch him. Rose had already turned and walked out the door and Lily quickly followed her got into the car and spent the ride to platform nine- and- three- quarters listening to her mother tell her familiar and new tales of Egypt and all of its wonderful mysteries as she stroked a softly purring Isis.

They pulled into the station and Lily's mother got a trolley. Then Lily's mom walked her up to the barrier and then handed the trolley over to Lily. Then with many hugs and a few tears they parted. Lily, who refused to put Isis down, had much difficulty pushing her cart through the barrier and just got through, stopping to put a charm on her face to cover her bruises, she hoped it would last. Then started towards the train when she lost control of her cart and fell. She was waiting for contact with the ground but it never came.

************

Remus, James and Sirius (Peter was sleeping in their compartment on the train) had just put away their trunks and were looking around trying to find Lily. Remus instantly spotted her fiery red hair in the crowd and said to his friends "There she is!" before running over to her

He saw her struggling with her cart and caught up to her just as she slipped, and caught her light form easily in his arms.

She looked up at him dazed for a moment before saying "Remus, thank you."

"Its no problem Lils." Remus replied and pulled her up and into a friendly hug. She hesitated for a second before hugging him back. He stepped back and held her at arms length, Remus noticed she now came up to his shoulders and had many more curves than last year but her eyes held more pain.

"Wow Remus you have changed." It was true, he was much more muscular than last year and 6 inches taller. James, Remus, Sirius and Peter were all in a group called the marauders, all of them were over 6 feet tall except Peter who was a mere 5'5". 

"So have you Lils," he replied. Then his gaze fell on the bruises that were appearing on her face. Lily adverted her eyes under his questioning look, feeling the charm wear off.

Lily what happened?" Lily remained silent her face turned from him. Remus was worried. She always came back from summer vacation with something cut or bruised, but never this bad.

"Lily…."

"Meoooow." Lily's cat poked its tiny black head out from under the Lily's cloak. Swatting Lily's cloak back with her claws. Lily absentmindedly pushed the cloak back, but immediately wished she hadn't. Remus's eyes widened, as did Sirius's and James's who had just come up behind Remus. All shocked at the arm, which somehow managed to hold the cat even at the odd angle in which it was sticking out. There was a long silence, all of them looking at Lily while she tried to get her cloak back over her arm while desperately trying to avoid their eyes. Then someone came up behind them, a woman with long black hair and warm brown eyes, just like James.

"James, honey, you need to get on to the train, it should be leaving in a few minutes. Make sure to help out you sister this year. Oh and don't get expelled since it is hopeless to tell you not to pull pranks." She looked at them expectantly, waiting for them to move. "Good bye."

"Yes mum, goodbye." He said the first and only one to snap out of his trance. 

"Goodbye dear."

"Here Lily I'll help you with your trunk." He said turning back to her his cinnamon brown eyes showing concern.

"Thanks James" Lily replied softly as he took hold of her trolley and loaded her trunks, nudging Remus and Sirius out of their reverie as he passed them. He caught Lily's eye and she smiled and mouthed thank you. He flashed one of his trademark smiles, which made most of the female population swoon, at her and nodded softly. They all boarded the train and entered the compartment that Peter had saved for them. They sat down, James then Lily then Remus on one side and Sirius and a sleeping Peter on the other side.

The train whistle sounded and the train started. The marauders for once were all silent and, if they were awake, looking at Lily awaiting her explanation. 

"Its nothing" Lily murmured.

"Lily, look at me." Remus said softly but firmly, knowing Lily was never able to look him in the eye and lie to him. "What happened?" 

A/N: Look at that; I am evil, mmuuuuuuaaaaahhhhhaaaaaahhhhaaaa. (Evil laugh). I included Peter. Go me! It's really hard not to throw him off a cliff but oh well. LOL. I'll try to update sooner I promise. TTFN. U KNOW U LOVE ME 


	4. Mudbloods and Questions

A/N: HI!!!! Merry Christmas. Here is your present. I hope you like this chapter and I am sooooooo sorry it took so long to update. I wrote most of the chapter in a notebook, then I lost the notebook, and when I found the notebook I got writers block, then I finished it and had to retype the whole thing. It was rather annoying but here it is. I am soooo sorry for the wait. And a special thanks to all my reviewers ( I love all 71 of your reviews):

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mori (aka mimi/frankie)- WOW what an interesting story. U should write fanfics! Any who. I am so glad you and your friends like my story. J Merry Christmas. Enjoy LoTR 

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Oh yeah

Disclaimer: Santa didn't bring me the rights to Harry Potter for Christmas, so practically everything you read doesn't belong to me. 

Fading Lily 

(From the last chapter)

"Lily, look at me." Remus said softly but firmly, knowing Lily was never able to look him in the eye and lie to him. "What happened?"

(On to the story)

"I'm fine." Said Lily, her voice barely audible. She did not look at Remus, but at her hands. 'I can't look him in the eye and lie to him; he knows that. And he is using it against me.' Lily closed her eyes as a fresh wave of dizzy heat and about of shivers raked her fragile body.

"You're lying." He stated simply.

"I know." Lily responded, her words softer still, and her eyes remained unopened. She felt incredibly dizzy, like the world was giving away beneath her. Then she lost conciseness, falling back into James's arms. 

James looked around shocked for a moment, silently asking what he should do. Sirius was just gazing at Lily first shocked and then he seemed lost in a memory while Remus just sat there is shock, disbelieving the situation in front of him.

James looked back at the unconscious girl in his arms. He lifted up his hand and brushed a stray curl away from her flushed face. As he did de felt the heat of her forehead on his fingertips, and rested the back of his hand on her burning forehead. He had to pull his hand back immediately.

"She has a really high fever." James said, more to himself than to his friends. Suddenly, everything his mum had done for his fever a few weeks ago came back to him.

"Remus, get up!" James practically screamed to get his friends attention as he gathered Lily in his arms, lifting her off the seat. Remus stood up and moved out of James's way and James laid Lily down on the seat. Then, with Remus's help, they took her cloak off and placed in under her head as a pillow.

"Sirius!" James added pushing Lily's air out of her face, "go to the snack cart and get a could pumpkin juice." Sirius just sat there, deep in thought, studying Lily and not acting at all like his normal crazy self.

"Now!" James yelled, snapping Sirius's mind from wherever it had been, back to the future. Sirius stood up and quickly ran out of the compartment and down the hall to find the snack witch.

"Ok, Remus, since she has a green shirt under this, we need to get this black shirt off of her." Together they managed to get it off. 

"Oh My god." They both muttered in disbelief, taking in all the injuries covering this poor girl.

Her shivering arms were almost completely black, blue and yellow, the bruises extenuated by her deathly pale skin. There were scattered cuts, and scars on her arms, which were practically skin and bones. They were almost scared to look at her back, but never the less they sat her up, her body resting against James's chest, examining the damage. All the skin, that the tank top wasn't covering was either scarred bleeding or bruised.

"Bloody hell." James uttered in disbelief. "Remus," James picked up Lily, carefully cradling her in his arms. "Spread out Lily's cloak." Once that was done James gently laid Lily back down and took his own cloak off and put it over her as a blanket. At that time Sirius burst back into the compartment with the bottle of ice-cold pumpkin juice and handed it to James, who set it down for a second. 

"Remus, give me your cloak." James said as he knelt beside Lily, lifting up her head, as Remus gave the cloak to Sirius, who slid it under Lily's head as a pillow, looking, shocked at the state of her injuries. 

"Meow." The kitten whined, nuzzling James's knee.

"Here you go kitty." James cooed, setting Isis by Lily's head. Isis immediately began to nuzzle Lily and lick her face, softly making meowing noises.

James smiled softly at the kitten and the redhead. He was amazed at how she could deal with all this pain, and still look so peaceful as she laid there, no dreams disturbing her conscious. 

James picked up the cold bottle of pumpkin juice and began rolling it slowly over Lily's forehead, cheeks and neck; hoping it would bring down her fever, at least until they got to Hogwarts. Her stayed like this, rolling the cold bottle (It had an ever cold charm on it) over Lily. Slowly moving the bottle down her arms and up her forehead and back again. The kitten continued to nuzzle her, and Sirius was studying Lily and James, the prankster doing something he had never seen him do before. Remus had sat next to James, and Peter was still sleeping.

James stopped for a moment to check and see if her temperature had gone down. He laid his hand gently on her forehead and then moved it down her cheek, noticing her temperature had gone down a little. Then Lily began to stir.

Remus who had his eyes closed felt Lily moved and jumped slightly. While James continued to stroke Lily's cheek while saying softly "Its O.K. shhhh."

Lily opened her eyes and felt, for a split second, an electric shock where James hand had touched her, but it was instantly forgotten. She looked up into his warm cinnamon brown eyes and her looked down into her amazing green ones.

"James?" She spoke softly, trying to find her voice.

"Yes, Lily" he replied.

"Lily." Remus said slowly, concern etched in his features.

"Remus." She said tenderly, turning to look at her friend.

"Meow." Isis added.

"Isis, hello kitty." Lily murmured. As she looked at the cat a small smile tugged at the corners of her mouth, but her eyes held nothing but dead sorrow.

"Thank you." She said softly looking back at James.

"No problem Lils." Another small smile flickered across her face at the mention of the nickname that Remus had given her. 

"I have some chocolate Lils, it will make you feel better." Remus said.

"Okay Remus, thanks."

"Sure Lils" and he went to go get some from his bag.

"Lets sit you up." James said, lifting her torso as she used her legs to push her self up against the wall on the end of the compartment by the window.

"Here," said Remus, holding the chocolate out for her. She took it thankfully and gave James and Remus a small smile. They both smiled back at her.

'See I can play happy. Especially when you aren't asking me about my father.' She thought as she ate the chocolate, its warmth spreading through her body.

"Remus, this is wonderful, thank you."

"Your welcome Lily."

"Ummm, Lily what happened? Who…"Sirius faltered slightly. "I mean what happened to you?" Asked Sirius, finally speaking concern etched in his features. Lily adverted her eyes, which darkened even more, and the smile left her face.

"Lils…" James and Remus prompted.

But before Lily could be questioned any further the compartment door opened revealing two boys, standing around 6 foot. One has greasy black air that hung a little past his chin and a hooked nose. The other had white blond hair that hung past his shoulders, and was tied back in a ponytail by a black ribbon. Their names were Severus Snape and Lucius Malfoy.

"Look what we have here." Luscious drawled while Snape's eyes flicked over to Lily. "A Potter, Black, Lupin, Petigrew and… a filthy little mudblood." 

James looked at Lily, who had cast her eyes down and lowered her head as Malfoy snickered at her.

"Good little Mudblood, you know your place. You worthless piece of filth."

"Go to hell Malfoy!" James said getting up, Remus and Sirius standing up behind him (Peter was still sleeping).

"Ohhhhh look Potter's got a girlfriend, a mudblood. Tsk Tsk Tsk, I really thought even you had enough sense to know not to associate with that filth. But I guess you don't even know that. Disappointing Potter, even for you."

James had enough. He stepped forward before any one could stop him (A/N: not that they would) and punched Malfoy. Picking up on the action Sirius pointed his wand at the both of them and muttered something under his breath, turning their hair gold and their skin scarlet 'GO GRYFINDOR' was flashing on their foreheads. Then, Remus shoved them out sharply and James closed the door, making sure to run over Malfoy's foot in the process. 

James knelt down next to Lily, slipped a finger under her chin and raised her chin, forcing her to look him in the eye.

"Don't listen to anything that git says. You're not a mudblood. It doesn't matter that your parents are muggles; you are a great witch, the best in the year. Certainly better than Malfoy." He said gently

"Yeah, I guess…" Lily said uncertainty

"How long have you been dealing with him?" Sirius asked cautiously after studying her face.

"I upset him on the train the first year and it's been like that ever since." Lily admitted. Glad to get something off of her conscious.

"We are going to get Malfoy, for what we has done to you." James promised.

"I think a little prank is in order here." Sirius said. "James get out a quill and some paper and start planning, Remus think about the best timing for a prank in the opening feast." Then he turned to a bag Lily had not noticed before. "And lets see what will we need." He poured out various vials of potions and his cauldron and started picking up one after another, muttering different things and than turning to James who had been talking with Remus and muttering some more. After a while the emerged with big smiles on their faces, even Remus had a mischievous sparkle in his eyes.

"We got it covered Lily Flower, anything for you." Sirius said as he poured ingredients into his cauldron.

"Thanks guys." She said aloud while thinking 'this is the one time Malfoy 

actually did some good. They forgot about asking me what happened.'

"Oh, by the way Lils." Remus said softly while mixing two potions. "You never told us what happened." The other two stopped and watched her cautiously. She cast her eyes down before looking up at him. Meeting his eyes sadly as she replied.

"Remus… I'm…" she started "He…" she said even quieter, only Remus heard "I can't" She said a little louder, now close to tears "But I will, when I can. Please Remus, wait till I can, please." A single tear slid down her face.

Remus could tell this was hurting her too much, but he didn't want to cause her more pain.

"I'll wait Lils, don't worry."

It tore James apart to see her cry. 'I will do something, anything I can, to help ease her pain,' he promised himself. Because for some (A/N: "UNKOWN") reason her pain was like his pain, his heart broke with her tears.

Sirius started rubbing her back softly, this seemed familiar, the tears, the pain, but he didn't want to remember.

"Here Lily," James said, grabbing a little more chocolate and handing it to her.

"This always makes me feel better and Remus swears by this chocolate," he said as he lifted up her head and shoulders and sat cross-legged with Lily's head in his lap. He massaged her temples while the chocolate melted in her mouth. 'This feels so good, so right, so perfect,' was her last thought, free of her father, before falling into a dreamless sleep.

"Lily wake up." Lily's eyes opened to Sirius's soft gentle whispers (A/N: Thx Dorkyprincess). Her eyes blinked open and she focused on his face, and forced a smile on her own. "We are almost there, you might want to change Lily Flower."

"Thanks Sirius." She pulled herself out of James lap and gathered her uniform. Sirius watched her carefully and gave her a small smile before she left. As she walked out of the compartment she saw Sirius pull something out of his pocket and suddenly something exploded.

Lily ran out of the compartment and a few compartments down before she heard Sirius's loud voice screaming "WAKE UP JAMSIE-POO! WAKE UP REMMIE!!!" She smiled softly, but the smile disappeared when she heard James yell:

"Sirius, you are going to pay for that! Yeah, you better run, 'cause I'm gonna kill you!!"

***FLASHBACK***

"You are going to pay for that you freak." Her father laughed cruelly. "Yeah you better run, 'cause I'm gonna kill you, I swear I will." 

Then he started beating her violently. Blood ran all over the floor and Lily's tears streamed silently down her face and blood filled her mouth as she bit her tongue to hard, in an effort to keep from screaming.

***END FLASHBACK***

A single tear slid down Lily's face as she ran to the bathroom, desperately trying to calm herself.

'No one saw you crying. You are fine. Try to forget it. Pull yourself together; come on Lily. Get it together, its okay.' She told herself.

She straightened her robe and walked back to the compartment. A tiny smile graced her lips as she saw the three boys. James had white hair and blue skin and Remus had red hair and green skin. Peter, who was just barely waking up had yellow skin with daisies and butter-mellows.

Lily raised her eyebrows as they all looked at her. Sirius, unlike the rest, was looking at Lily strangely, his gaze shifted so he no longer saw her, like he was lost in a memory. But before his friends noticed he returned to normal and smiled reassuringly at her.

'Almost like he knows' Lily thought. But for some reason his smile made her feel better. She gave him a small smile back and he nodded slightly before turning and looking back at his friends. 

Peter finally really woke up and looked at Lily. "Who are you?" he asked rather rudely "And what happened to your face."

A/N:I sorry it took so long. I will really try to update faster; I promise, a new years resolution. It takes a long time to transfer stuff from a notebook to the computer, 

I sorry. And I guess I was hinting at something w/ Sirius, you can guess what it is if you want. Well thanks for putting up with me and

Merry Christmas 

Please review. I gave you a present will you give me one?


	5. Bruised and Boneless

A/N: HI. I UPDATED. I'm sorry for taking soooooo long but its not all my fault. My computer has been gone for forever. Lets just say it started with FF.net not loading and went to crashing even when I tried to open up Word. So my dad tried to "fix" it. Grrrrrr. My computer ended up having to go back to the Apple store. (It is an iMac.) Then they fixed it and I got it back a loooong time later, then I had to type up my whole chapter from a notebook. Soooo, it took a while, I'm really sorry.

I would thank all my reviewers personally, but I have a feeling you all would rather me post the chapter soooooo THAKS TO ALL OF YOU. And a special thanks to my wonderful editors, Dorky Princess and Koneko, who spent all day today fixing all my mistakes. Thanks. 

Oh yeah…

Disclaimer: Ummmm… I'm too tired so see provious chapters and don't sue me. I'm broke :( your rich :P , it wouldn't be worth it.

And now on to my story…

Fading Lily: Chapter 5 

Peter finally really woke up and looked at Lily. "Who are you?" he asked rather rudely "And what happened to your face."

'God, can't these people mind their own business. This is the one place I can get away, and they won't let me forget, even if its unforgettable, at least they could let me try.' Lily thought, her redheaded temper creeping, ever so slightly, into her thoughts. She did have a temper and every now and then it would shine though her thoughts. Revealing the person she could have been, she should have been. 

Lily just looked at Peter and her eyes which, despite her thoughts, showed no feeling, were just dead. When she pulled out her wand and just stared at Peter, her green eyes portraying death, Peter, to put it simply was scared, very scared. The three remaining marauders eyed her either with curiosity or confusion, or both, depending on how they thought they knew the certain redhead.

But contrary to Peter's thoughts, Lily simply muttered a charm under her breath and levitated her trunk. Then let her kitten climb from her broken arm to her shoulder. After catching Remus's eye and seeing him nod slightly, though his friends were too stunned to tell, she left. Her departure left one shaken, one at least somewhat reassured, one worried, and one concerned and with the feeling of déjà vu.

****************************

Lily walked quickly down the hall, she new no one would follow her, and if they tried Remus would stop them. ' He knows I need to have some space. After all these years he still understands me. Maybe we can get to be better friends, if his friends like me. But they probably won't. After all who wants to be friends with a freak, a freak that fainted the first time they really meet. I am a worthless freak, and only Remus still puts up with me.' Lily sighed, walked up to a carriage and climbed in. She set her luggage in the corner and removed the spell, let Isis curl up in her lap and then charmed the carriage so that is was invisible. Remus knew that that was what she would do. She was so advanced in charms due to her love of reading and learning that, by second year, she could turn a carriage or anything else invisible. It was the one thing she had been proud of. 

So there she sat, mentally berating herself for everything she could think of, or that her father had thought of, reliving those awful memories at the thought of her father, all while stroking her kitten. Ignoring the tears streaming down her cheeks.

*******************************

(A/N: Back a little bit)

They watched Lily leave, without a word. And for the most part they were shocked at her sudden departure, but more so at Peter's rudeness.

"What the hell was that for!?" Sirius said, whacking Peter's head.

"Owww. That hurt." Peter whined, rubbing his head.

"Where did she go? Come on guys we have to find her." James added worriedly.

"No." Remus said softly.

"No?" James and Sirius asked. Both shocked.

"No, just let her be for a bit. She will go to Madame Pomfery, and then come back to the common room, take a book down and read until her dorm mates fall asleep." Remus said. James and Sirius stared at him in disbelief. 

"How do you know?" James asked.

"She has been doing relatively the same thing every year."

"Are you sure we shouldn't try to find her?" Sirius said, gathering his things.

"No, we shouldn't. I want to find her too. We are all worried, but we wouldn't really be able to find her now. She charms her carriage invisible."

"Ohhhhhh. A smart little flower we have here." Sirius added, jokingly. He couldn't be too serious for too long.

"Yeah padfoot, a very smart little flower. Smarter then our little Prongsie here in fact." Remus said, smirking at James. 

"Except for in Transfiguration. I am always #1 in that class!" James said pompously as they picked up their bags and walked out of the compartment.

"All hail Prongs, King of Transfiguration." Peter said sarcastically.

"Oh shut up Wormtail."

"Make me."

"You dare challenge me, the KING OF TRANSFIGURATION!!" James said, feigning shock.

"No duh." Peter and Sirius said.

"You're going to pay for that!!" And with that they ran, very awkwardly, towards the carriages, with their trunks and everything. Remus shook his head at his friends and then joined them. He was assuring himself that Lily would be fine, but not truly believing it. 

*********************************

(A/N: Back to Lily)

The carriage jolted suddenly to a stop, snapping Lily out of her trance like state. She gathered up Isis, took the invisibility charm off of the carriage and levitated her bags. Then after checking to make sure no one could see her, she ran to the doors, her tears finally slowing. She flung open the doors and rushed into the hall when Peeves caught sight of her. 

"Oh, is the little carrot head sad? Does the scared little carrot want some water?" Peeves cackled and then dumped the bucket of ice-cold water over Lily's head and left her there. With that a fresh wave of tears hit her and she ran quickly away. 'Another person who hates me. God, I wish I was dead." She thought as her pace slowed to a steady walk and she retraced the familiar path to the hospital wing. Sometimes she helped Madame Pomfrey brew potions or heal patients. It gave her something to so in her free time. 

She reached the hospital wing and crept in the infirmary. 'I don't have to get Madame Pomfrey just yet. She will come out. I'll just lay down, just for a second.' She thought as she climbed into the soft and warm bed and pulled the stark white sheets up over her. White, like the marble walls and the bed hangings and the tables. 'All white, solid clean simple white.' Lily thought as she slowly fell asleep. Her trunk was by the foot of the bed and Isis lay curled up by her neck purring softly, a soft, innocent lullaby for her owner.

Madame Pomfrey walked into the infirmary eating a chocolate frog. After all the candy and other treats she saw her patients receive she decided to try some of them. Her favorite was chocolate frogs. She also made sure to befriend the snack cart witch from the train. She would always have some leftovers to share. Madame Pomfrey made her way to her office; very happy and oblivious, chocolate tends to do that, when she heard a soft "Meow" from the corner. She stopped in her tracks and turned around. 'Oh my goodness, its Lily. She usually eats at the feast before visiting me. How odd.' She thought, as she slowly approached Lily, her red curls giving away her identity. Then she caught sight of the trails of tears and the few bruises that show. 'Oh dear what has happened now?' Then she slowly drew back the sheet and gasped in shock. 'Oh my lord, what happened to this poor girl?' She was used to strange magic mishaps, broken limbs after a Quidditch game, but the term hadn't even started, and whatever she could have expected, it wasn't this. 'I suppose I should wake her, she will need to take some potions. Good thing I restocked my cabinets."

"Lily, wake up dearest." She softly shook the girl

"Hmmmm," came Lily's muffled voice. "Madame Pomfrey, hullo."

"Oh dearest, you need to sit up to drink some potions."

"Yes, I suppose I do."

"I'll be right back. I have the potion to mend those broken bones, and some others to put on those cuts, but I can't make the bruises go away, and some of it will scar."

"I expected as much, thank you, Madame."

"You're welcome Lily." The nurse said as she went into the store supply closet to get the potions.

Lily sighed, anda fter letting Isis jump onto her lap, she sat up, propping herself against the pillow. 'Finally, some pain-relieving potion.'

"Here we are, dear." Madame Pomfrey said, handing Lily the potions. One was a bubbling neon blue liquid, for her broken bones, and then there was a vile of electric orange goo, to put on the bleeding cuts.

"Oh, delicious." Lily said smiling, a fake sweet smile at the nurse.

"I know dear, but it will help."

"Of course, Madame" Lily took the blue potion and drank it quickly forcing it down. The liquid burned her throat, but after it was swallowed she could feel the medicine begin to work on her bones.

"Where are the worst, my dear?" Lily hesitated for a moment. 'Okay, breathe, it will be fine, you need those potions.' She thought before speaking.

"On my back."

"Well then, you will need to lie down on your stomach and lift up your shirt so I can apply the potion. Oh and your kitten will have to go into my office."

Lily nodded, took a deep breath and did what she was told. Then she closed her eyes and tried to block out the nurse's muttering about Gryffindors and the things they will put up with before they let someone see them.

But the nurse, no matter what she muttered about, cared about her patients and never liked the states they came to her in. She always kept her feelings in check though; you couldn't scare the patients or be distracted from treating them. Which is why when she saw Lily, come to her like this, before term started she found herself thinking 'what has happened to this poor girl? And Lily of all people. She has been helping me brew potions and treat patients since practically the beginning of first year, what could have happened to her?' Madame Pomfrey applied the potion to the cuts on Lily's back and Lily bit her tongue to keep form screaming as the stinging potions seeped into her cuts. But almost as soon as the pain had begun it began to die away and Lily had to admit she did feel better.

"Thank you Madame."

"You're welcome Lily." They remained silent for a moment as Lily took some of the extra potion and rubbed it on any other cuts then set the bottle down and turned to look out the window. Madame Pomfrey looked thoughtful, slightly debating with himself while Lily looked out the window at the twinkling stars that were appearing one by one in the night sky.

"Lily…" the nurse started, letting her pushy attitude she usually had down. Lily pulled herself out of her thoughts and focused on Madame Pomfrey's words, but not meeting her gaze. "I need to know what happened. There are scars all over your back, bruises both old and new and theses broken bones should have been treated already. Muggles can heal broken bones, the process is a bit low, but it works."

"Um… It was an accident."

"I don't know of any accident that would end up looking like this, so you either need to have some very unusual accident habits or you need to tell me the truth."

"Um… Madame… You see…" Lily's eyes looked down at her hands, trying her best to keep them from shaking. The nurse's clear blue eyes cut into her. 'What am I going to do? What am I going to do?!' was all that ran through her head. Lily slowly looked up, bravely meeting Madame Pomfrey's gaze. "I…"

"Madame! Oh Madame! Your Favorite 5th year is back!" Come Sirius's voice as he burst into the infirmary. 

The nurse kept her eyes on Lily for a moment longer before turning around to face her new patient. She rolled her eyes 'What timing that boy has!' she thought in frustration as she assumed her annoyed expression.

"What now Mr. Black?"

"Well, you see, a certain Mr. Malfoy and myself had a slight disagreement. And while I attempted to act like the level-headed voice of reason," Madame Pomfrey raised an eyebrow suspiciously at his ridiculous comment. "Mr. Malfoy felt the need to attack me." He continued ignoring his disbelieving audience. "And, well, this is what he did."

Sirius then pulled back the sleeve of his shirt to reveal an arm, if that is what you could call it, falling limply and swinging slightly back and forth, resembling rubber, and completely devoid of any bones.

Madame Pomfrey huffed "bent bones, colored bones, broken bones and now no bones, where will you stop. Well, I am afraid this will be a very long night for you Mr. Black. I can heal broken bone, that's not a problem. But regrowing bones, that is a long and painful process."

Sirius suddenly became "serious" and his face "grave", he placed a hand over his heart and said in a voice that sounded like he was just told he was facing death "A marauder's got to do, what a marauder's got to do."

"Madame Pomfrey rolled her eyes, "get into a bed and I'm going to fetch the potion. And NO DISTURBING my other patient." She then turned and headed back to her office.

Sirius turned his head to look for his fellow patient. 'Lily, so Remus was right.' Sirius thought as his eyes rested on Lily who was simply sitting there, staring at him with a thoughtful expression. Sirius opened his mouth to say something. But right before the first sound escaped his lips Madame Pomfrey's voice echoed through the infirmary "Into bed and DO NOT DISTURB MY PATIENT!"

"Madame, I wouldn't dare do such a thing." Sirius shouted back feigning shock.

"Drink this and get in a bed. I don't want to hear another word out of you." The nurse said as she emerged from her office with a bottle of Skele-Grow.

"Bottoms up." Sirius said, toasting invisible glasses and pouring the liquid down his throat in one gulp. He gagged and made a disgusted face and then looked at each of them before announcing. "I have found the flavor of the Berti Botts Bean I had sampled earlier. Absolutely horrid flavor, and a wonderful new addition to the Berti Botts collection, don't you think?"

"Into bed and quite before I put the silencing charm on you."

"Of course Madame." Sirius bowed low to the ground chuckling softly before turning to Lily "'Night Lily flower, It's a pity we didn't get to chat."

"Into bed NOW Mr. Black." 

"You enjoy ruining all my fun, don't you?" 

"Yes, Mr. Black, I believe your dear friend Mr. Malfoy and I devote our lives to 'ruining your fun.' Now GET TO BED!"

"Fine." Sirius relented and climbed into the bed next to Lily's.

As soon as Madame Pomfrey returned to her office Sirius turned over smiling at Lily. She raised an eyebrow and did nothing else. Seeing that Sirius wanted to start a conversation. But when he opened his mouth Lily silently raised a finger to her lips, motioning him to be silent. Then nodded in the direction of Madame Pomfrey's office, where her silhouette was visible against the lighted window. She took her wand from the nightstand and muttered "Silenco," put her wand back down and turned to Sirius.

"She can't hear us now, but we should still be careful, she will check up on us in a little bit. And tell your friends, when they come, to not move thing around or make too much noise. Only around us are things silent to anyone around and we are not invisible."

"Are you suggesting that my friends sneak out after curfew?" Sirius said jokingly, a prankster's smirk on his face.

"Sirius, who doesn't think that the marauders sneak out after curfew?" Lily said in reply as she raised an eyebrow and cocked her head to the side. 

"Oh, that hurts." Sirius said with a laugh, that he had tried to suppressed and failed, as he placed his hands over his heart. He righted himself and still chuckling said "Lily, smile for me."

"What?"

"Smile."

"Why?"

"Why not?"

"Sirius, you're a pain."

"No I'm not, I just want you to smile. I'm serious, smile for me."

"Of course you're Sirius, unless you drank some polyjuice potion. And I don't feel like smiling."

Sirius turned away, his boyish smile silently fading in defeat. The 

Skele-grow was apparently beginning to work its way through his body, because an unsuppressed grimace began to spread across his face. Lily shook her head and allowed herself a small grin. The grin itself had little joy attached to it and the smile didn't reach her eyes. But it was a smile nonetheless, a small step, a step towards more smiles, joyful smiles.

"That's better." Sirius said, turning back around just in time to catch the grin before it faded from Lily's face. They locked eyes for a moment, his almost black ones met her green ones, they both new that the other could be trusted and would be a friend that could help them through all their troubles, past, present and future. They always said that the eyes were windows to the soul.

Lily gave him a small smile, filled with as much warmth as she felt she had. Sirius returned it with a smile of his own, until another grimace took over his face. Lily looked at him with a worried look.

"You should probably get some sleep Sirius."

"Who… needs… sleep?" Sirius choked out, now paler than ever, abruptly 

Collapsing on his side.

"Sirius!" Lily practically screamed, propping herself on her elbows to better see him. Gritting her teeth as the pressure hit her many bruises, sending shocks of pain through her body. She let out a small gasp of pain.

"Lily…" He gritted out. "I'll be fine."

"Sirius…"

"'Night Lily." He said, his voice shaking under the pain.

"Goodnight Sirius." She said reluctantly laying down and pulling the covers gently over herself.

They both lay in silence, neither able to sleep. Lily slowly turned over to face Sirius. His eyes were closed tight, and his jaw clenched.

"Sirius…" Lily whispered. There was a moment's silence before the horse whisper replied.

"Yeah?"

"Thank you." She said softly, smiling a small smile, which grew slightly bigger as she saw a smile appear on his pain filled face,

"You're welcome Lily… anytime."

********************************

(A/N: Back a bit to the carriages and the story following the Marauders Sorry if it's confusing L)

The boys, for the better part minus Peter, spent the ride finishing their prank planning, for the opening feast and for the revenge on behalf of Lily. And for most of the night they laughed half- heartedly at the vain attempts at humor, their minds off on other things. Mostly relating, in some way or another to a certain Lily Evans. Peter, after being ignored for being rude and chasing Lily off (he didn't think he had been rude at all) finally fell asleep.

"Perfect!" Sirius exclaimed as they put the finishing touches on their plans. "Ha! This will be great." 

They all shared a laugh before Remus said through chuckles and shaking his head "I still can't believe Dumbledore made you a Prefect, James."

"Dumbledore must be on something. I always knew he was but this does it." Sirius said. "Looney, but that's Dumbledore for you. And we all love him." Sirius added as an afterthought and they all laughed again.

"Oh you just like that he has a soft spot for our pranks." James said laughing.

"Thank god for that." Remus added.

"Hear, Hear." Sirius added and they spent the rest of their trip laughing over the stupid things. Those things that only at times like these, surrounded by your best friends, could be laughed at, as they tried to take their minds off life's more serious matters.

Eventually the carriage jerked to its inevitable stop, which suddenly awoke Peter. 

"Oh… now he wakes up." Sirius said laughing and slapping Peter, who was still somewhat disoriented, on the back. The other two each informally and without actually saying anything of the sort, forgave Peter. After all, they couldn't stay mad at one of their best friends for long.

They all walked up to the great hall, ignoring Peeves and the water all over the floor. Walking towards the great hall, they talked with some of their fellow Gryffindors and a few Hufflepuffs (from their fan clubs), a few Ravenclaws and glared at passing Slytherins. They did, eventually get to the Gryffindor table and sat where they had a good view of the Slytherin table and where they were far enough away from the teachers that they wouldn't be caught before they could pull their prank. 

The enchanted ceiling showed a black sky, the stars twinkling merrily as silver wisps of clouds drifted over a half moon. The candles flickered as they hovered over the tables, black robes and hats were everywhere and the low rumble of students' voices filled the hall. Every student, well, almost every student felt safe and comfortable and in his or her heart knew that this was home. 

All conversations hushed and quickly stopped as Professor McGonagall, in the usual black robes and tight bun, strode into the hall with an air of great authority. She was carrying a stool and what appeared to be a ratty old wizard hat, but the returning students new better. The incoming first years scuttled in behind Professor McGonagall and huddled in the corner. Some with looks of awe, other with fear, and a scattered few with confident looks upon their faces. The hat was set on the school and the Professor stepped back and waited.

Those new first years from muggle families looked confused and shot glances around the silent hall. But when the hat began to sing, its brim flapping open, all the new students eyes grew wide with shock.

"Welcome to Hogwarts

One and all

Your learning begins

Within this very hall

A long, long time ago

When I was young and new

Four great wizards came together

To create this very school

Godric, Helga, Rowena and Salazar

Or as you probably know

Gryffindor, Hufflepuff, Ravenclaw and Slytherin

Together… Oh what a show

Each created their own house

As the school grew bit by bit

Each founder, for their own house

Picked the students they deemed fit

But now they're gone

And they have left me here

So come let me look in your head 

There is nothing for you to fear

I may look old and ratty

But place me on your head

I will look inside your mind

Lets see what it has said

Perhaps you're brave and courageous

And have a heart of gold

You may belong in Gryffindor

Where all are heroic and bold

Or maybe you're a loyal friend

Very kind and soft at heart

You value your friends and the time you share

And, like a true hufflepuff, you always do your part

Or possibly your mind is keen

A Ravenclaw's love to learn

You value your intelligence

And work for what you earn

Maybe you are cunning

A sharp tongue and quick mind

A slytherin who believes

A friend will stab you from the front and enemies from behind

So come on up and put me on

Hear what I have to stay

Because who you are and who you'll be

Is decided here today."

Applause echoed through the hall, from teacher and students alike. When it died down Professor McGonagall cleared her throat and began to read the names.

"Abbot, Julian."

A small boy with light brown hair walked up to a stool, sat down and the hat was placed on his head. After a few seconds the hat shouted "Hufflepuff!"

The Hufflepuff table erupted in cheers and some member of the other houses clapped politely.

"I wonder how many Gryfindors we'll get this year." Peter whispered to his friends.

"I dunno Pete." Sirius said. "Not him," he added a kid with short blond hair and purple eyes walked up to the brown hat and was sorted into Slytherin.

"Bulstrode," James said, having heard the Professor call his name. "That sounds familiar."

"Yeah it does. Wasn't his father causing trouble with the ministry?" Sirius said.

"Dad must have mentioned him." James said as a few Ravenclaws got sorted and a girl named Veronica Brown got sorted into Gryffindor. She scanned the table and then came and sat next to James. Veronica smiled at James and Sirius and batted her eyelashes. She had shoulder length brown hair that was perfectly strait and the bottom four inches dyed lavender. 

James and Sirius both raised an eyebrow at the girl, and Frank Longbottom, a 6th year, snorted. James and Sirius lifted their gazes up to glare at him; he met their glares with a smirk. Then an evil, happy look spread across Sirius's face and he leaned closer to Veronica and whispered something to her. Veronica looked up and winked at Frank, then stood up and walked around the table (getting glares from teacher for disrupting the sorting) and sat down next to Frank. It was now Frank's turn to glare at Sirius while Veronica tried to flirt with him. The marauders all looked at each other and snickered then turned back to watch the sorting, and awaiting the moment for their prank. 

A short while later Dumbledore stood up to make his announcements. As he did the four marauders' heads leaned closer to each other. 

"Welcome students, another year has come and here we are again. Hopefully your brain hasn't rotted too much over the summer." The head master's eyes twinkled merrily.

"Mine has!" Sirius shouted who had pulled away from the rest of the marauders. If they were too silent they would arouse suspicion. Especially from McGonagall and Ardell, the Slytherin head.

"Such a shame Mr. Black." Dumbledore said, his eyes sparkling even more. " And I would like to remind you that the Forbidden Forest is forbidden for ALL students." His eyes turned to the marauders who where leaning in, not whispering, but having a silent exchange. That's how close the four were.

Dumbledore smiled slightly before continuing, "I would like to introduce our new caretaker, Filch. He has a list of items that will not be permitted this year. I strongly urge you to read this list."

The heads of most of the student body turned to look at the man standing in to corner. His hair was greasy and matted, his face contorted into a hideous scowl, his clothes were worn and patched and at his feet was vicious looking cat, later to be known as Miss Norris.

Sirius stole a glance at the new caretaker. "This should be fun." He muttered to his friends then the rest of them turned to see Filch, smirks appearing one by one on each prankster's face.

And now I would like to announce the prefects "Slytherin- Mr. Snape…" The marauders looked at each other and rolled their eyes. They turned and applauded for all the prefects for Ravenclaw and the Ravenclaw head girl and the Hufflepuff prefects and finally Dumbledore announced the Gryffindor perfects " James Potter," James stood up and looked around while people either clapped or sat stunned at him making prefect. "Lily Evans," the marauders shared a knowing look and Dumbledore continued with the list. They all sat down when he had finished and one the noise died down, Dumbledore continued. 

"I know you all eagerly await the feast." The marauders nodded to each other and quickly took out the wands, and while keeping them close to the table they pointed them towards the Slytherins. "But allow me to say these few words…"

The Gryfindors around the marauders scooted over slightly as the four boys began muttering spells under their breath. "Oigo, binchque, and…"

He clapped his hands; at that moment a light erupted from the Gryffindor table and engulfed the Syltherin's table. And within a blink of an eye the Slytherins were gone, in they're sat a table of multicolored neon koalas (A/N: Thanks Koneko :D)

" … And detention for Mr. Black, Mr. Potter, Mr. Lupin and Mr. Pettigrew." Dumbledore waved his wand returning the scowling Slytherins to their normal selves. "And let the feast begin." Extravagant foods appeared on the golden plates and everyone began to eat, they Marauder's laughter echoed through the great all.

They ate dinner, stopping to laugh at something else that the Slytherins did during the prank, or glancing over and laughing at Frank and Veronica. They argued about different quidditch teams, discussed different pranks, every now and then stopping to flirt with the girls sitting around them.

When the plates were finally cleared the Marauders stood up, still laughing and joking, and started walking up to McGonagall's office to receive their detentions. They were almost there when Snape, Malfoy, Crabbe and Goyle stepped out in front of them.

"Ohhhhh, where's the mudblood. To disgraced to show her face. Or finally learned she isn't worthy of being here?" Malfoy taunted sneering.

Sirius stepped up to Malfoy, dangerously calm and said in a voice seething with restrained anger.

"Do not insult Lily."

"A real shame she's not here." Snape drawled. "She is the only Gryffindor with the brains and the capability for a good insult, or at least able to defend an insult. But she won't even have that after Black is done screwing with her."

He had about a half a second to enjoy the results of his remark before James launched himself at Snape. Sirius tried to get some control over his rage, and was about to jump in when Malfoy shoved him from behind. Crabbe and Goyle joined in and Snape stepped aside, throwing a few well-chosen and well-aimed curses. Remus did the same for his friends.

Then Malfoy yelled a curse, as Sirius's arm was about to make contact with his face. Sirius's lower arm fell limply dangling strait down. They had all stopped fighting within seconds and Miss Norris appeared with Filch and McGonagall following behind.

"I should have known," McGonagall said glaring at the group. "Detentions for all of you. And Mr. Snape, Mr. Potter, as prefects I expected more of you.

She turned to Filch. "Do with them as you wish. They will begin their detentions tonight." She turned to walk away before Sirius stood up, holding his arm.

"Um, Professor…"

"What is it now Mr. Black?" She said annoyed, turning around to face him.

"You see…" He let his lower arm drop.

McGonagall sighed and shook her head, "To the hospital wing Mr. Black. You 

Will serve your detention later."

"Yes Ma'am." Sirius tried to salute with his boneless arm, causing Peter to laugh. Which put him on the receiving end of a glare from the Professor. Sirius smirked and walked off, listening to McGonagall's voice telling James and Snape to go to the perfects meeting and then join Remus, Peter, Crabbe, Goyle and Malfoy in detention. Then she left, muttering something along the lines of Potter, Snape, Prefects, Marauders, and Malfoy.

Sirius walked to the hospital wing, trying not to look at his freakishly rubber-like arm. He finally got to the wing, not meeting too many students on the way. Sirius burst in and made his usual amount of comic noise. (He just loved getting on the nerves of Madame Pomfrey.)

The rest you already know (A/n: Sirius talks to Lily, drinks skele-grow, bla bla bla. Lily falls asleep.)

Sirius now lay in bed, unable to sleep. He had gotten so bored he was now trying to synchronize his breathing with the sleeping Lily's. Knowing that his friends wouldn't be by for another few hours he decided to try to get some sleep. Slowly, his eyes began to close, lulled by Lily's steady breaths.

He was almost asleep when he heard Lily's breaths become short and rasping, she began to toss and turn in her bed. Sirius rolled over in his own bed to see if she was all right. When he did she started moaning, then her moan turned to shrieks, she yelled, "Daddy, please stop!" before lying completely still. 

A/N: thanks for reading, I hope u don't hate me too much and will still review. TTFN. I have my computer back now (obviously) so I will update. Soon!!! R&R


	6. Secrets and Worries

A/N: Oh my god, I am sooooo sorry peoples. We have gotten the house painted so my computer has been disconnected, and then my Mom needed to replace the desk and wouldn't hook my computer back up until she found a new one. But my dad finally got the other computer and got the Internet working, so I GOT TO UPDATE!!!!! YAY!!!!! I would answer all the reviews but I have a feeling you would rather have the chapter. But thank you all you are wonderful!! Thanks for putting up with me.

Sirius froze, his mind racing through memories, suppressed, in an attempted to forget them.

***Flashback***

A little 8 year-old boy, with black hair and bloodshot black eyes, sat huddled in the corner of a little room. Various cuts and bruises on his face, arms and bare stomach. A large man, his father, came at him, throwing punch after punch at his son. "Daddy, please stop" the small boy attempted to scream before becoming limp on the floor, loosing consciousness.

***End Flashback***

'Oh god, please not Lily.' Sirius thought, and then scolded himself. 'No its probably just a bad dream. I can't jump to conclusions like that.' After glancing one again at the sleeping redhead he turned over and fell into an uneasy sleep.

***********

The sun fell across Lily's tear stained face, her large emerald eyes fluttered open, blinking under the sun's bright rays. Lily pushed herself into a sitting position but instantly regretted it, for her head immediately began to throb and a wave of nausea swept over her. 'Fever. I almost forgot. Just my luck,' She thought, lying back down shivers wracking her body. She then looked over at Sirius who must have woken up.

"You okay Lils? You look really pale." He said sitting up, his arm having re-grown its bones.

"Fever" was all she could say before she felt like she was going to throw up.

"I'll get Madame Pomfrey." Sirius said getting up.

"Wait" Lily started, taking deep slow breaths. Sirius turned back around towards her. "Charm" she said. It took Sirius a moment before he understood what she meant. He reach out and grabbed his wand. 

"Finite Incantum" Lily whispered.

"Finite Incantum." Sirius repeated with a swish of his wand. He smiled reassuringly at Lily then went to the nurse's office. Madame Pomfrey came out a moment later with a potion in each hand, muttering things to herself.

"Here you are dear. Drink these." She handed the potions to Lily. Lily slowly sat up, still attempting to slow her breathing. Lily closed her eyes against her pounding headache and drank the foul tasting potions. The potions had taken affect, slowly her head stopped pounding, her stomach settled and she felt warmer. 

"You should feel better now, but take it easy. Professor Dumbledore insisted on letting you go to classes if you wanted to. But you will need to stay and at least eat here, you need a proper meal." The nurse said, obviously upset with the headmaster's decisions about _her _patients.

"Yes Madame." Lily said quietly, looking at her hands. The nurse went into her office shaking her head. When she opened the office door Isis bolted out and jumped onto Lily's lap. Lily gazed at the kitten, silently stoking its silky black fur.

"What's its name?" A voiced beside her asked. Lily looked up to see Remus sitting at the foot of her bed.

"Isis." She replied softly.

"An Egyptian Goddess." Lily smiled softly

"Was your mom in Egypt?"

"Yeah, she was at a dig in Cairo." Lily replied sadly, her eyes going from having no expression, to an overwhelming sadness.

"Lils…"

"Hmmm?"

"Are you feeling okay, or at least better?" Remus said, as he lowered his head to make eye contact with Lily, but not succeeding.

"Yeah." She said refusing to look at Remus, but only gazing at her hands. 'The bruises are clearing up. That's a good sign.'

"You sure?" His voice showed that he clearly did not believe her.

"I'll be fine." 

"We were really worried about you." 

"You were?" Lily looked up, her gaze meeting Remus'; he smiled softly as their eyes made contact. 'Somebody was worried about me?' Lily thought in disbelief.

"Of course."

"And no one was worried about me?" Sirius asked pretending to pout.

"Nope." Remus said smiling.

"Is your arm better?" Lily asked Sirius quietly.

"As good as new. Thank you LILY." Sirius looked purposely at Remus and Lily looked back at her hands. The door burst open as the other two marauders strode in pompously, causing Lily to glance up at the two boys.

"We bold brave nights request an audience with the fair Lady Lily and the bumbling Black idiot." James announced bowing towards Lily. She looked up at him with a small forced smile on her face. Still stroking Isis who had fallen asleep on her lap.

"Well milady" Sirius asked smiling "do we wish to speak with these fools?"

"They do seem like kind gentlemen, let them speak." Lily said, flashing a small smile at Sirius. James and Sirius started laughing then talking about last night's events, the detentions and the prefect meeting.

Remus looked to Lily, his face showing none of the playful joy of his friends. 

"Lily…" He started careful to keep his voice low.

"Yes." She said with a sigh.

"I know you aren't ready yet, but when you are, tell me what happened, okay."

"When I am ready."

"Promise me that you will tell me."

"When I am ready."

"Promise me."

"I… I promise."

He leaned towards her and gave her a brotherly hug. Lily stiffened at the contact but forced herself to relax. "I promise." She whispered into his shoulder as he gave her one last small squeeze before turning back to his friends. 

"Hey Lily, wanna come eat with us?" Peter asked, finally speaking up.

"She most certainly will not. She is to eat here. She is still my patient for the time being." She looked at the boys expectantly. "Get out, move along" she said scooting them towards the door.

"Madame, may we come back after breakfast and make sure Lily gets to her first class okay?" James asked innocently, flashing a quick smile at Lily.

"Fine, fine, if you must. Now leave!" The four boys hurried out the door shouting goodbyes to Lily as they left. She watched their retreating back as the nurse hurried to her office. Lily turned over looking out the tower window, the blue sky with translucent white clouds. 

'Why do they care? No one ever took the time to care. Why do they care? Should I tell them what happened? No, father said to never tell anyone, they wouldn't care.' Then another voice, a voice Lily hasn't heard in a long time spoke. 'Yes they would care. You need to tell them, they will help. 'I can't' Lily thought. 'You have to.' Something inside her said, 'be strong.'

Lily took a deep breath as Madame Pomfrey came in caring a tray of food. She set it next to Lily, did one final check to make sure the potions were working effectively and administering some new ones. Once she was satisfied she returned her attention to the tray of food.

"Eat it all, you will not leave this room until you do." She said, setting the food on Lily's lap and then setting a fresh set of robes next to her trunk.

"I will, thanks."

"Your welcome." The nurse said with a nod, and then retreated into her office. 

Lily moved Isis and stared at the food for a minute. It was more of a meal then she had eaten all summer. The smell made her somewhat nauseous but she was sick of being in this plain hospital room, the silence and the blank walls would drive her crazy. She slowly picked up her fork.

'Here goes nothing.' She took one bite and then the next and the next, soon the whole meal was finished, leaving Lily feeling much, much better. Then she slowly leaned over, closed the drapes around her bed and changed into her robes. Once she was changed she walked over to Madame Pomfrey's office, carrying her empty tray if food. 

"Good, you ate it all." The nurse said upon Lily's entrance. Lily nodded. "Set it on the table over there and you may leave when you are ready. But if you start feeling Ill again you come right back here.

"Okay" Lily said setting down her tray.

"And the house elves will take your kitten and whatever else you need to your dormitory."

"Thank you." Lily said walking out the door. 

As if on queue the four Marauders entered the hospital wing.

"Are you free to go?" Sirius asked. 

"Yeah, as soon as I grab my books." She walked over to her bed, put Isis in her carrier, grabbed her bags and then joined the boys.

"Ready?" Peter asked.

"Yes." Lily said glancing at him nervously; her impressions of him weren't necessarily the best. 

"Great." James said offering with a reassuring smile.

"Lets go." Peter said turning to the door. Sirius shook his head at his friends back.

"Don't mind him, I'll talk some sense into him. He isn't usually like this." Sirius said running after Peter.

"Shall we." James said holding his arm out to Lily. Lily hesitated for a moment then took his arm, and Remus took her other. Both guys smiled to see a small blush on Lily's cheeks.

They walked down the halls. The boys chatting happily with Lily, trying to take her mind off her troubles, trying to make her feel comfortable with them, make her feel welcome. Lily, who immediately recognized what they were doing, played along.

'I can do this' Lily coached herself. 'Nod. Good girl. Make eye contact, that's it.' Lily even started adding a few "ahuh"'s and an occasional "really?" between paying attention to what the boys were saying, coaching herself, and trying to ignore the piercing eyes of the passing students.

'Wow. I'm got this down, I hope. Maybe they will stay friends with me. Having some good friends would be nice, especially if Remus starts hanging out with me like he did before. Sirius seems nice, James too, Peter's a little strange, but, if Remus likes him I guess he's okay.'

She was only mildly surprised when the marauders sat around her in Transfiguration surrounded her in the halls and has at least one of them with her in every class.

At first the eyes that were glued to her and the whispers passing through the halls as they passes unnerved her, but she soon became annoyed and artfully glared at the students (As her father would do to Lily when her mum was around), then went back to listening to whomever was walking and talking with her.

By the end of the day she was thoroughly exhausted and upon entering the common room, promptly sat down on the thick red rug by the front of the fireplace, instead of retreating to her dorm. She knew the guys wanted to make sure she was okay. She rolled on to her stomach, pausing for a second, first to get a hold of the pain from her still healing bruises and then to try to coax herself into getting out her homework, which she slowly did. Lily set the book in front of her, laid her head down on it and sighed. Then quickly propped herself up on her elbows and began working away.

Remus smiled at the familiar action. James Peter and Sirius laughed silently and then joined her on the floor; some 7th years (including the head boy) had taken over the couch.

Remus pulled out his homework and began working. Both Lily and him helped each other if they were having trouble understanding anything. Peter and James played chess and Sirius chatted with a group of 3rd and 4th year girls that were fawning over him. 

A few hours later the common room began to empty out. Remus had gone upstairs early; the full moon was in a few days. Peter and Sirius were now playing chess and James had left moments ago to meet with the Quidditch Captain. Lily, had fallen asleep, her read hair sprawled across an open book that she had been working ahead in. Homework kept her mind busy and off her problems. Peter finally won the game, smirking at Sirius then walking pompously up the stairs. 

Sirius shook his head with a smile, then turned to Lily he walked over and picked her up, startled to see how light she was and at the sight of silent tears spilling down her cheeks. He hesitated, thinking about waking up James or Remus or even calling Peter back down but then stopped. He new some things people wanted to keep to themselves. He took her up stairs, placed her on her bed, took off her shoes and wiped the tears from her face. He ran back down stairs, got her books and set them by her bed. Then silently snuck back to his dorm, falling asleep to his own troubled thoughts.

When he woke up the next morning Sirius had a full out internal war. One part of him wanted to find out what was wrong with Lily. The other part instinctively knew that this was her secret, and she wouldn't want to share it. 'Not all secrets seem better in the open.' Sirius thought grimly. ' Well, I can just stick by her, maybe I'll see something, or maybe she will tell me.' A small almost laughable thought then occurred 'maybe I'll tell her.'

He got out of bed, and became the world's most annoying alarm clock, (WARNING: highly combustible). He raced over to James bed, jumping on it, jumping on James, singing "Yankee Doodle" at the top of his lungs, and laughing like a maniac. Once James was up, yelling some choice curses at his best friend, Sirius went to wake up Peter and finally Remus, who both through their pillows at their annoying friend before getting ready for classes. Ignoring Sirius's odd mornings. 

The four guys got ready and went down to breakfast, after scanning the common room unsuccessfully for Lily. She was already down in the great hall. She had woken up early, before her roommates could throw insults at her. Lily wasn't stupid, she saw her puffy eyes when she woke up, she saw her tearstained cheeks, and she knew she didn't walk all the way to the 5th year dorm last night. Someone had seen her, seen her cry; she knew it was one of the four marauders. Who else would do that for her? But because she fell asleep so early she didn't know which one. But she wanted friends, and she couldn't have them know about her, her life at home, if they knew, they wouldn't want to be friends with someone like her. 

Sirius kept a close eye on her all day. Lily thought that one would be completely stupid not to notice it, he was being perfectly obvious, but then again none of the other Marauders noticed, or acted any different. 'I'm losing it.' She thought for the hundredth time today as Sirius quickly turned his gaze away from her, as she caught him studying her for the hundredth time today, and Peter kept babbling away, James and Remus offered a very forced laugh at some bad joke that Lily had ignored. 'Wait, maybe there is a reason he is acting strange; maybe he was the one who found me last night. It must be him. I wonder what happened.' She tried to recall her dream but could only remember that it contained a blur of memories, as many of her dreams did. So she made an effort to act a little normal. She still didn't speak much or smile, but she tried to convince them, mostly Sirius, that she was fine. She went to see Professor Dumbledore, lied about being in a car accident. She knew that he knew she was lying, but she couldn't tell him the truth, not now, not yet.

And that's how things where for awhile, Lily was still top of most of her classes, was defended from the Slytherins by the marauders, gradually became less of a discussion topic for the gossipers of Hogwarts, but she was only ever half there, seeing happiness around her but never really a part of it, 'I don't deserve it.' She would tell herself, then smile sadly and go back to her routine.

Sirius made an active effort to lighten the mood, James, Remus and Peter actively tried to. They, basicly acted like themselves. Told funny jokes, played pranks, Sirius would sing and dance around, with the help of a spell or two, complements of Peter. And of course James and Sirius still dated, Remus did occasionally, but being a werewolf made him fear any real relationship. But they some how never failed to keep someone with Lily, and Lily had to admit that this could be rather annoying, but people, she mostly avoided them anyway, were kinder to her. She knew it was just because she was friends with the marauders.

Lily made sure she never fell asleep downstairs again. She would stay up until the other 5th year Gryffindors were asleep then go to her room. Sirius gradually began to loosen up, but he did take notice of how she was acting, how little she was talking.

It worried him; she was closing inside of herself, like she had always done. There had to be more to it, something there. Sirius knew he used comedy to escape pain; she must have some type of pain, except it was eating her from the inside. Sirius wanted her to do something, scream, cry, yell, laugh, something that showed that she was really alive.

Sirius wasn't the only one. James had noticed something too. Her eyes seemed so distant, her smile, when she actually smiled, was so sad. He could feel that something was wrong, and he could tell Sirius knew something more than he was letting the rest of them know.

"Moony?" He asked one night. Sirius was in detention (Slytherins suddenly covered with mice, during the morning post, don't ask), Lily had gone upstairs, and Peter had the Invisibility Cloak to get food from the kitchens.

"Yeah?"

"What was Lily like when you were first friends?" Remus wasn't expecting that. He slowly turned around to face James. He was still for a moment, considering the question.

"She was quiet, shy. I saw a few nervous smiles and she laughed occasionally, more than know. Now that I really think about it, she would always get really quiet around the holidays. She always went home and when she came back it would take a few weeks before I would hear her laugh. She would always talk about her mother, who was almost always away, to exotic places. She is an architect. Lily seems to really like her mother. I always figured she was sad because her mother sometimes didn't make it home during the holiday.'

"What about her other family. Dad? Sisters? Brothers?"

"She has a sister and her father. She didn't talk about them much. I got the impression her father was really strict. It is probably his reaction to having to run the house by himself. But I really don't know anything about them. She started to draw away once we became close friends. You and Sirius were best friends from the start, so I got to meet her before I really became a Marauder."

"Yeah," James sat thinking. "Hmmmm. I just don't get it. Something seems wrong. And I have a strange feeling Sirius knows something more. But he isn't saying anything; I don't think he plans to. I know he hasn't been acting different; he is still his crazy self. But I don't know, there is something else there." James frowned, clearly frustrated.

"I don't know Prongs. I don't know."

James nodded, defeated, and turned to look up the stairs towards the girl's dormitories. Where he knew a certain redhead slept. A girl troubled by her own disturbing memories and thoughts that never should have been hers. 

A/N: My editor's on vacation and I can't get to my other one at the moment so I just posted, sorry for any errors. I'll have them read through it and then re-post it but I couldn't wait. Sorry Koneko Sorry DorkyPrincess. Forgive me. I'll try to update as long as I can get files back and forth between computers, I'll have someone else post something If my computers get messed up again. TTFN Review if you don't hate me too much. Forgive me. I love you all. HE HE HE

-U KNOW U LOVE ME


	7. Acquaintances and Letters

A/N: Sorry its been forever since I updated. Oops. ::blushes:: Sorry!! My dad tried to "update" my computer and broke it so it was gone for some time, grrrrr. But I made the deadline danceluver13, he he he!!! I work well with deadlines. Why? I don't know. Anywho yeah for those who have read OotP this is now A/U, really A/U, so yeah, oh well. Oh yeah and a BIG THANKS to KONEKO who put up with me for ours trying to get through this chapter, and figure out where to make the story go. So I hope this chapter is okay, please read and enjoy.

A big thanks to my reviewers. YOU ARE AWSOME!!!!!!!!!!!!

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Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter, please don't sue. 

And here we go ::drum roll::

Chapter 7: Of Acquaintances and Letters

September was passing quickly. The teachers constantly reminded the students of the upcoming exams, though to most of the student's the OWL's were ages away. Except for a select few, including Lily, and most of the 5th year Ravenclaws. The OWL's Lily found gave her a perfect excuse to escape her life, memories, and self-defeating thoughts and surround her self in a world of books. Under the pretense of intense studying, she was free, for a few hours each day. At least she didn't have to put up with uncomfortable questions.

It was the end of September the 20th to be exact, and the full moon was today. Remus was looking pale and sick, he knew it, and he felt it. 'Oh, well. At least I have them.' He thought looking around the room, smiling slightly.

Lily was working on an essay for transfiguration, which was not her _favorite_ subject. Every now and then Remus would see her glance at James, as if debating to ask for some help from the top transfiguration student. And if it wasn't that she stared longingly at her advanced Charms book she checked out from the Library. Sirius, James and Peter were 'helping' each other with their divinations homework. Basically seeing who could come up with the worst fate. 

"I see," said Sirius in a fake misty voice, "you will see a grim by tomorrow night."

"Are you sure, looks more like a poodle to me." James said mockingly. Peter burst into laughter and Sirius glared at James.

"Yes and I've read that barbequed stag is considered a delicacy to Grims, you saw that right Wormtail?"

"Oh yes!" Peter manages between laughs "A delicacy."

Remus saw Lily giggle softly, before turning her gaze back to glare at her essay. Remus turned his gaze to the Ancient Runes homework that lay open on his lap, sighed then looked past it to the extra transfiguration book he had gotten to help him with his now completed essay. He looked at it for a moment before grabbing it.

"Here Lily, this should help," he said passing her the book. "Page 124 has a lot of extra information."

Lily accepted the book with a soft smile whispering a relieved thanks to her friend. Then bent over the book, her red hair falling in her face, creating a veil between her and the world. 

After McGonagall had mentioned the study of Animagi, which had triggered his three friends crazy path to become Illegal Animagi, it was really Lily who had agreed to do extra research with him, checking all possibilities to keep his friends as safe as possible. It was Lily who had inadvertently come up with some of the most vital information to his friends' success. She spent time with him in the library absorbing all the information she could and was the one to tell him exactly how it should go and what he could do if anything went wrong. He then brought back the more helpful books to combine with the ones Sirius, James and Peter had found. And though he was never sure if they ever new her input to their success, he had tried fruitlessly to mention her help a few times, she did deserve a lot more credit. 

Of course she knew she wasn't researching for nothing, and was told by Remus after being sworn to secrecy, what his friends were about to do. She agreed to continue helping; he knew she would. Though she never attempted to become an Animagi herself. She had claimed she was not talented enough to perform that magic and though he disagreed with her and strongly voiced his opinions, her decision never wavered.

He sighed at the memories, he wasn't sure if she was feeling better or worse about herself, and she wouldn't tell anyone what was obviously bothering her. But at least now she had not only him, but the rest of the marauders to help her through it. These were the best friends he or she could ever have, and he was confident that Sirius, James and Peter would always be there for the both of them.

An hour later Lily put the last word on her transfiguration essay, and slammed her quill on the table, making her friends jump. Her cheeks flushed under their gazes and she mumbled a quick apology. 

She rolled up her essay and stuffed in her bag, then proceeded to reach for her charms book. 'At last,' she thought. 'I can't believe that essay took so much time.' She opened her book, and then paused. 'Time…' she looked down at her watch and gasped in surprise. 

"James." She said quietly, too quietly, he was still telling jokes to Peter. "James," she said a bit louder packing her stuff away hurriedly.

"Yeah," he said, looking over as Lily shouldered her bag and stood up.

"Our prefect meeting is starting in five minutes." She continued before running up the steps to the girls' dormitory to deposit her bag. 

James glanced down at his watch, screwing up his face. "Bloody hell, she's right."

"Ha, ha. Little Jamsie Poo has to go to his little perfect Prefect meeting." Sirius taunted easily dodging the book James chucked at his head.

Lily came rushing back down the stairs just as James made a move to jump on his "best friend." 

"Really boys, save it for later. Please, James, we've really got to go." She pleaded. James looked back at Lily, and then shot one last glare at Sirius. 

"Okay, I'm coming."

They sprinted down the corridors until they reached the room, and slipped in just as every one was sitting down and took two seats near the back. The Head Girl, from Ravenclaw, cleared her throat and stood up. When the noise died down she began.

"Thank you all for coming, we have some matters to discuss today and if everyone participates and cooperates," she gave a pointed look at the Slytherin and Gryffindor prefects "we should be done shortly." The meeting mostly consisted of smaller problems, different clubs and groups organizing that would like rooms to practice in, etc. Eyes of the more indifferent prefects began to drift, and even Lily had to admit her eyes were feeling heavy and she was no longer absorbing words. 

The Head Boy seemed to take notice of everyone's discomfort and cut in to his fellow Head's speech. 

"For our _final _announcement," the prefects snapped back to attention, and the Head Girl glared at the Gryffindor, "since Halloween falls on a Thursday this year, the Hosmeade weekend will be extended to four days. This is also an opportunity for these students whose families have suffered…losses to spend some time with their families.." 

There was a grave silence. A new dark wizard, Lord Voldemort, was on the rise, and rapidly gaining power. Many students had been receiving letters from the ministry, the dreaded black letter that informed you of a relative's death, and condolences from the minister. The first few letters had caused such a disturbance during breakfast, that they were now sent directly to Headmaster Dumbledore. He would call up a student from their class and present them with the information, then give them a few comforting words and transportation home. The student would come back a few days later, and all would seem relatively normal, until another person was called to the headmaster's office. 

The Head Boy shook his head, clearing the thoughts everyone seemed to be thinking, grabbed some papers and then continued speaking. "Dumbledore will be owling the parents and here is the information we'll need to post in each house's common room. If we could have a representative from each house to post this, preferably right after were done. Thank you, I believe that's all."

The Head Boy and Head Girl walk out to present the results of the meeting to Professors McGonagall and Dumbledore, who had been at a last minute staff meeting. And the rest of the prefects met with the others from their house. Lily waited for James as he went over to pick up a paper, almost feeling the tension build as Severus Snape approached the pile at the same time as James. The other two house's student's quickly grabbed the papers and hurried off and the only students left were Lily, James and Severus.

"Potter," Snape spat, sneering at his Gryffindor foe.

"Snape." James hissed through clenched teeth. Both sets of hands instantly pulled out wands. Lily saw where this was going to end up. She knew Severus and James feuded with each other, everyone in the school did. The results could be disastrous, and Lily, who knew it was a full moon tonight, knew that James could not afford to be sent to the hospital wing over a silly rivalry.

Lily took a deep breath, trying to gather some confidence. 'Come on Lily, Remus needs James there. You can stop this. This is not the time to think about how worthless you are. Pretend you're not, for Remus. For Remus.'

She quickly walked up and put herself right in between the two, tilting her head lightly up to meet James's angry gaze. 'I hope this works Lily.' She thought to herself.

"James." She said softly but firmly, "Not now."

"Lily, stay out of it." He said stepping to the side, returning his wand to point at Snape.

"Not now James." She repeated.

"Your girlfriend defending you now, Potter." Snape taunted. Lily spun around to face him; a scowl that she had learned from her father matched that of the one she received from the Slytherin.

"You are not helping, Severus." She said sharply.

"I had no intention of doing so." 

"Honestly, the both of you!" She stepped back to so she could see both of them. She looked back and forth between the two, who still had their wands ready, and Lily was surprised she had held them both of this long.

"If you Children are quite done. James needs to leave **_now_**" She looked pointedly at James and added, "Since today is September 20th." Severus looked carefully between the two. The Gryffindors seemed to be having a silent exchange, before James handed the paper to Lily, glared at Snape, mumbled something about "finishing this later" and stormed out of the room.

"Really, Evans, I expected better, even from you." Snape drawled. 

"What?" She said, pointedly pretending not to understand his statement.

"Potter rubbing off on you already." Snape smirked, Lily met his gaze returning the smirk. She had spoken to Severus many times over the years and although her wit and confidence was no match for his, she found she could hold her own while talking to the Slytherin.

"And Lucius Malfoy is just so much better, Severus?"

"Undoubtedly."

"Speaking of James, last I heard, you two were related." She waited as his eyes searched hers, seemingly trying to determine if this was a bluff. "These walls can talk, Severus. And you know as well as I, we silent ones have wonderful ears." He nodded slowly.

"Distantly related. And I thought you of all people understood that we clearly don't choose our families." He shot back coldly, giving her a pointed look. 

'Does he know?' Lily thought panicked for a second before rationalizing. 'No of course not, he is just very good at suspecting things.' She heard steps that stopped right out side the door, and glanced out of the corner of her eyes towards Lucius who was leaning on the doorframe arms crossed, eyeing Lily with a look of sheer disgust.

"Severus, what are you doing, associating with that _Mudblood_?" Lucius sneered. Still eyeing Lily, who felt that whatever self esteem she, some how, gained from talking to Severus diminished instantly. 

Snape's whole demeanor changed, his body went rigid and he held himself so he towered over Lily. He sneered at Lily before turning to Lucius.

"Associating Lucius? Hardly. Unless you are implying that I have sunk to that level of filth." Snape said coldly, glaring at Lucius.

"Of course not, Severus. We must be going, I cannot stand to be in her presence a second longer."

"I completely agree." Lily shot a glare at Severus before returning her gaze to the floor as Malfoy's eyes swept over her again.

Severus turned and stalked towards the door and was crossing the threshold when Lily lifted her gaze.

"Goodnight Severus." The Slytherins looked back at her, Lucius with a look of disgust and shock, while Snape merely fixed her with one of his infamous glares. She smirked back at him and refused to meat Lucius's eyes. 

Lucius turned around furiously and stalked down the hall. Severus followed hi cloak billowing behind him.

"Bloody Gryffindors." He muttered, his swift strides easily bringing him to Lucius's side.

Lily walked out of the room and watched the pair turn the corner.

"Bloody Slytherins" she muttered then turned on her heal, walking quickly back to Gryffindor tower, her pace slowed as her anger faded, and she strolled down the last two corridors with a small smile on her face.

She and Severus had been… acquaintances for a few years now. They both entered school as sort of outcasts. So in classes, such as potions, they found themselves partners. More so after Remus became close friends with James, Sirius and Peter. She even began to share his love for potions and the dark arts, defense in Lily's case. She realized she could never win with physical battles, but from Severus she learned some battles could be fought with words. So from their little banters over the years she learned bits and pieces of his wit and sarcasm. Just having conversations with him supplied her with some of the only self-confidence she ever had. 'But he had to start hanging out with Lucius,' she thought with disgust. 

Lily stopped to gaze at the full moon shining clearly through the tower window, hoping sincerely for her friends safety, stuck the notice on the bulletin board, then curled up on the couch with her charms book, and read until she was sure her dorm mates were asleep then crawled into her bed, begging her dreams, or nightmares, not to bring up memories she would rather be left forgotten. 

The morning sunlight streamed across Lily's face, illuminating the tears lying on her cheeks and gently waking her from her not so peaceful slumbers. 'Why me?"' she thought, moaning slightly 'Because you deserve it.' Another voice said. 'Yes.' Lily thought, her spirits down already. She looked around, pleased to see the others were still asleep. She climbed out of bed and got ready in silence. She grab a book of potions she had gotten from Severus and went down stairs, her kitten padding down after her. 

She passed the sign she had hung over a month ago, proclaiming today to be the first day of the extended Hosmeade weekend. Lily smiled, thinking back on that night. It had taken a week, a forced potions assignment, and her asking to borrow his favorite potions book to get him to speak to her. Of course he did so inconspicuously, refusing to give up his connection with Lucius, as she refused to give up her friendship with James. Both knew they had very few friends, or acquaintances, and were not about to let one go. Though Severus would never admit it. 

James and Sirius had been on her case too, claiming that no human could get along with Snape, let alone carrying a civil conversation. Her only reply was that she never said that their conversations were civil. That combined with a silencing look from Remus, who knew of the connection the two shared, James stopped bugging her, for the most part. And well Sirius, just couldn't get over it.

Lily sighed, stroking Isis absently and let herself be absorbed completely by the world of intricate potions. 

A few hours, and many students passing with luggage later, the four boys trudged down stairs. Peter spotted Lily in the corner, who was oblivious to their presence, and guided the group over. Sirius bent over pushing the book away from Lily's face, peering at its contents in shock. Lily slowly rose out of her concentrating stupor and met Sirius's gaze.

"Potions! Oh why, Lily, why?!" Sirius exclaimed in shock. Lily shook her head at him.

"Potions is interesting Sirius." She told him, which earned her another shocked gaze from all but Remus, who was smirking slightly at her. 

"O.W.L.'s, Sirius, I need to study for potions." She tried. He seemed to accept this a little easier. 

"But you don't need to study Lily, you're one of the best student of the year." Peter said, who was pleased at himself for beating the others to telling Lily.

"I can always learn more." Lily told him. "And I'm not that great of a student."

"Yes you are Lils." Remus said.

"I agree, and besides if we don't leave now, we are going to be forced to use… other means to get to Hogsmeade." James said, casting a side look at Sirius, both adopting mischievous smiles.

"Oh, I couldn't. I 'm just going to stay here." Lily said, her day hadn't been splendid so far, except for the potions reading, and Lily's dream got her spirits down. She didn't know if she could take being around all those happy people. 

"What! Not coming!" James took his turn to be shocked.

"Yeah come on Lils, you need a break. Come have some fun." Remus said, walking up and kneeling beside her chair.

"Too much studying isn't healthy." Peter added.

"Wormy, here is right. Come on, please, Lily, please." Sirius said, pouting.

"Don't you have a date, Sirius?" Lily asked, desperate for anything.

"No, my girlfriend, the Hufflepuff. What's her name, James?"

"That's just sad, Sirius." Remus said with a laugh.

"Well any way, she wanted a day with the 'girls', James's girlfriend included" Sirius continued,

"Do, I have to?" Lily asked as one hopeless attempt to get out of it.

"Yes!" The four of them shouted unanimously 

"Fine, fine, just let me put this away." She said holding up her book "and get her to the dorm." She nodded down at Isis. Who jumped off the chair and followed Lily back up the stairs.

She was tucking the book safely away in her trunk when two owls swept through an open window, landing on Lily's bed. Lily eyed them warily. 'Who would be owling me?' The first owl had the untidy scrawl of the Gamekeeper. Lily set that aside to read later and turned to the remaining owl in confusion. There was a regular paper, not parchment in the owls beak, her sisters angry writing evident from the first glance.

Lily looked on in horror at letter, her eyes already brimming with tears, before running to the door. 

"You guys go ahead I'll be there in a minute." She yelled down the stairs.

"'Kay Lily." She heard James yell back. She listened for their laughing to fade before she turned back to the letter in her hands, sliding down the wall to rest on the hard stone floor as she read. 

Lily,

Your headmaster wrote us. With an owl!!! How dare you let them do that to us! And you will NOT be coming home for Halloween you freak, but Mom insisted you come home for Christmas, but she might not even come home. You FREAK!!! How dare you burden our father with your disgusting presence! Don't ever write to us with these blasted owls. Father is really mad at you (Lily could almost see Petunia's gloating smirk) and decided make sure you know what a worthless piece of shit you are, FREAK!!! 

-Your unwilling sister 

Lily wiped a single tear that fell down her face. 'You should be use to that' she mentally berated herself. But upon reading it again she fell helpless to the tears streaming down her cheeks, with sorrow and fear. 'I made Father mad.' She repeated softly to herself, horrified until her tears stopped.

She took another shaky breath, tears threatening to spill again and stood up, brushing off her robes and muttering a quick spell to fix her tearstained face. Lily looked across the room, in shock, to see Sirius standing in the door, waiting for her. The look of sympathy, confusion and shock in his gaze overwhelmed her. 

She bit her lip nervously and walked up to meet him, slightly comforted when he wrapped his arms around her in a hug. He paused for a second before lifting her chin to meet his gaze.

"Lily" he said softly.

A/N: Sry Sry, don't kill me!!! The good news is I stopped it here after I had already written a few paragraphs more. So a new chapter is on the way. Soon, I promise. That is if my dad doesn't break my computer again! Grrrrrrr. Any way. I hope you liked it. Review, I'm open to suggestions. Your reviews mean a lot to me. I will update soon. I promise. 


	8. Conversations and crying

A/N: Hello all! Little Axe Girl (aka Sophie) here! U KNOW U LOVE ME has been dragged off unwillingly by her parents to a week-long road trip to Sadona, so I'm updating for her. I will say on her behalf that she is very sorry that it's taken so long to update, but her fates are pissed at her muses for one reason or another, so it's been hard for her to write, but she has tried- on Friday I helped her for practically 2 hours on just one conversation. And now, without further ado, chapter 8 of Fading Lily:  
  
"Sirius, please." Lily said, shaking her head, her eyes quickly filling with tears.  
  
"Lily," He tried again, but Lily just shook her head.  
  
"Not now. the other's are waiting." She said, desperately trying to find an excuse. Sirius snuck a glance at the letter then looked down at her. He found such desperation and sadness in her face he couldn't press her for the truth.  
  
"Sure Lils, come here." He moved to her side a slung his arm around her shoulders, smiling sown at the red head as she looked up at him gratefully through teary eyes. He guided her out of the tower and down the flights of stairs to meet their friends by the entrance doors.  
  
The group spent the day wondering around Hogsmeade. Sirius kept an eye on Lily, joking back and forth with James to keep a smile on her face. He tried all day to get a chance to talk with his three friends, maybe they could help. Finally the reached Zonko's when he was hit by an idea. He scooted away from the group, pulling Peter along with him.  
  
"Peter," he whispered "I need to tell you guys something, keep Lily busy. And if you can, stay close enough so you, only you, can hear."  
  
"Sure, Padfoot." Peter said, a slightly confused expression on his face. 'If I can hear' he scoffed. That was one reason he was in the group. He had an undeniable talent for sneaking around silently and eavesdropping. This proved useful to the marauders but for Peter, he knew it was a talent that would insure survival.  
  
Peter walked over to Lily pointing out products on the shelf before them, while recounting the tale of the pranks they had played with them. Lily smiled and laughed slightly, trying to appear happy. She knew Sirius 'and probably the rest of them' would be making sure she wasn't depressed.  
  
While a little bit away Sirius was telling James and Remus what he saw that morning, soft enough to be a private conversation but loud enough to allow Peter's sensitive ears to hear them. Sirius waited for their reactions. Remus looked pensive for a moment before speaking.  
  
"From Lily's sister?" Remus asked slowly.  
  
"Yes." Sirius whispered in reply.  
  
"She has always had trouble with her sister, doesn't like to talk about her much. But from what I have heard she is downright awful to Lily. Maybe more than just a bad case of sibling rivalry."  
  
"There's something more there, isn't there Padfoot?" James said, studying his best friend.  
  
"I think there might be more behind this. You saw her on the train. But she won't talk to us about it." Sirius said, looking at each friend in turn.  
  
"Well, we can't just push her into this; we have to get her to tell us. But we can't crowd her or she will push away from us." Remus said, thinking of his own condition.  
  
"True," James agreed. "And you've known her the longest; maybe you can try to approach her."  
  
"I'll do that. Just, try reach out to her, it's awful thinking you're alone." Remus said, a far off expression on his face.  
  
They cut their conversation short as Peter and Lily approached them, Peter nodded his head slightly, acknowledging that he heard the conversation. James smiled at Lily, walked up to her and slung her arm over her shoulder. Lily tensed for a moment then relaxed Sirius flanking her other side, and Remus next to him. They steered her out of the shop, Peter trailing behind.  
  
'Friends with her? Friends with her! Over my dead body. Better yet, over her dead body. It's the four of us. The four marauders. She will not ruin this for me. I won't let her. They won't let her. We swore loyalty, friendship. They won't betray me, not for her. Not for anyone.' Peter thought as he walked out of the store, staring at their backs. He scowled as he noticed James's arm draped around Lily's shoulders. 'Bloody girl,' he thought before breaking into a run and joining the group at Lily's side.  
  
Lily smiled softly as the marauders joked back and forth. 'This day has certainly turned around' she thought, though the memory of her sister's letter dampened her rising spirits.  
  
James was returning an insult form Sirius when he felt the shoulders under his arm sink a little. He peered at the girl next to him, the traces of her small smile were gone, her eyes briefly glistened with unshed tears. Then seemingly shaking herself from a dream her soft smile returned and her shoulders straightened, though if you looked closely, you could see her eyes had lost the sparkle they had held but a moment ago.  
  
Remus noticed James stopped talking to the obliviously rambling Sirius, and was watching Lily, whose gaze had move dejectedly to her feet. Remus could sense her familiar air of sadness. He used to think it came from not being outgoing and not having many friends, but in the company of the marauders. it was coming from somewhere else.  
  
"Hey James," Remus said aloud, snapping him out of his reverie as Lily's gaze shifted upwards.  
"Yeah?" He answered. Remus looked at James then shifted his eyes towards Lily. James nodded his head in thanks.  
  
"Excuse me!" Sirius said in mock offence. "I was speaking."  
  
James and Remus laughed, Peter after a second joined them. Lily looked at them around her and realized how much she missed laughing.  
  
After a long day at Hogsmeade they headed back to the castle for the feast. Lily vaguely noticed Peter was once again missing from their number. The food looked delicious and Lily took a little more than she usually did, which didn't go unnoticed by those concerned for her. The marauders tried desperately to get a laugh from Lily. But each time they either got a slightly larger smile, then other times she seemed depressed with every time they would erupt into laughter.  
  
Sirius was in the middle of telling some far-fetched story of his and James's childhood when Lily caught Severus's eyes across the room. She excused herself from their company, "to get a breath of air". She walked out of the great hall and to the steps in front of the castle, where she sat down, bundling herself in her cloak. Severus after a few minutes joined her, and unbeknownst to either of them Peter hovered quietly by the great hall doors.  
  
"Happy Halloween Severus." Lily said as he walked over and leaned against the raining.  
  
"I have never known a Halloween to be happy, but the idea is appreciated and returned."  
  
Lily smiled softly at him and replied "Cynical as always, Severus."  
  
Severus arched one elegant eyebrow, "Potter would have your head if he heard you calling me by my first name. Let alone simply being in my presence."  
  
"Oh, and Malfoy would be so thrilled with the fact you're having a civil conversation with me, a Mudblood. Let alone simply tolerating my unworthy presence," she shot back mockingly. Remembering, once again, how much she cherished their exchanges with Severus, whose cynical outlook on life seemed fitting compared to the happy-go lucky view the Gryffindors held.  
  
"That, and the fact you're a Gryffindor is certainly not working in your favor, milady." He smirked at her. "And now you're hanging out with Potter and his dimwitted followers. You seemed much better than that, though maybe your have already lost yourself to their foolishly noble hearts."  
  
"I assure you Severus, there is not enough of me left to give to anyone."  
  
"Who said you were in control of any of that?" He glanced at her before turning back to look over the forbidden forest. He stood there for a moment, Lily's gaze drifting to him and then joining his own.  
  
Severus stood straight and turned, walking back up the steps, robes slightly billowing out behind him.  
  
"Lily" he called softly as he reached the door, "be careful." Then without waiting a reply he turned and entered the castle.  
  
"Same to you Severus, same to you." Lily whispered to the night air.  
  
Peter stood in the shadows by the door, leaving only for a moment to hide in the broom closet, skillfully avoiding Snape's finely tuned eyes and ears, then returned to the shadows by the door. He had to get rid of this girl, before she ruined all he had worked for the last few years.  
  
The fog rolled off the lake, covering the lands surrounding the castle, washing over the tracks of a student coming and leaving the lone cabin sitting contently by the edge of the forest. It swirled in the visitor's red hair and clung to her long eyelashes.  
  
Lily Evans had visited the games keeper earlier and hadn't found a reason to go back inside, feeling better out here alone, her heavy heart surrounded by swirling mist. So she just sat on the stone steps next to the castle, watching the patch of lilies by her fade into the fog.  
  
'How strangely fitting.' She thought grimly.  
  
The door opened behind her bathing her in a moment of light. She her a few footsteps before someone sat down beside her. The silence hung over them for a moment before her guest spoke.  
  
"Happy Halloween." She turned to the source of the voice. She cocked her head in an indication of greeting.  
  
""I have never known a Halloween to be happy, but the idea is appreciated and returned." The boy next to her smiled slightly "Why aren't you at the feast?" She questioned.  
  
"I could ask the same of you." They looked at each other for a moment, before small smiles graces both sets of lips.  
  
"Sirius, sent you to check up on me?" Lily stared into the swirling mist in front of her while Peter's gaze had found the lilies, fading into the mist. He smiled slightly "Remus." He said in reply.  
  
Lily nodded before following Peter's gaze to the lilies. Peter studied the lilies until the fog completely engulfed them, rendering them invisible to their admirers. Peter slowly turned his gaze to study Lily. Her large green eyes mesmerized by the flowers.  
  
"Fading Lily?" He whispered, smiling eerily at her as she turned to face him. And without another word got up and walked back to the castle.  
  
Lily stared after him in shock before turning back to the spot where her namesake had disappeared. After a few moments the door opened once again.  
  
"Lily." The werewolf's soft voice called out to her, James and Sirius's faint echoing laughter reached her ears. She turned her dark green eyes to meet his before returning to the hidden lilies. He reached a hand towards her as a light breeze stared to blow, brushing her pale cheek and ruffling Remus's hair. She lifted her hand and placed it in his, slowly standing up. She gave him a small smile and turned back to the flowers. Her heart felt a bit lighter, for with each new breeze the lilies became more visible.  
  
She turned back to Remus, smiled her sad smile at him and before he could respond, she had wrapped her arms around his neck in an embrace. Remus glanced over the top of her head at the lilies, which were coming fuller into view with every passing moment. He smiled at the good omen, and wrapped his arms around his friend. Letting her unwilling tears fall onto his neck as he gently rocked her back and forth. 


End file.
